In February, I set out to change some things…

More vegetables

More running

More calisthenics

More yoga

More DISCIPLINE

I turned February into ‘discipline month’ and for the most part, it has felt awful.  Sickness, fatigue, stress, failure.  One good week of running turns into the next two weeks of laziness.  Throwing up after yoga classes.  Extreme cramping.  Oversleeping.  Finding stability in everything that I want to do has been harder than actually doing these things.  I’m doing this to eliminate feeling, to eliminate softness, to eliminate acceptance of failure.  I WILL be the person I aspire to be.  I AM NOT everyone else.

Everyone else is fat and lazy and really fears improvement.  They are undisciplined in life and exercise and do not really love themselves.  My recent struggles have been nothing but fun for me because I know that I am still seeking improvement through resilience.  I already have a fit appearance, but I’m looking for performance.

I will bounce back.  I will not give up on my goals.  I will be elite and understand my peak physical condition.  My reasons for fitness are clear and unlike any of the silly, superficial, or ambiguous ones out there.  If it were simply about looking better, I doubt I would ever exercise.  People should feel shame in exercising simply for looks, not because it doesn’t “work,” but because the concept of it “working” is the problem.

Show more discipline than that.

Set some real goals, let those who look and don’t do care about appearance.