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An Open Letter to Fat people

Posted by scalesonfire on July 7, 2010
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Dear Fat Person,

Your closed mind may cause you to have stopped reading at the greeting, or you may be fuming mad at my use of the word “fat” and are only reading because you’d like to unleash verbal vengeance with a comment. To that I say, thank you for reading. You’ll understand by the end. In truth, understanding why being called “fat” angers fat people is their first step to never being or feeling fat. Stigmas, not food and laziness are what really keeps people fat. So let’s tackle your first major stigma: what really is a fat person?

In speaking directly to "fat" people, I could be including people like actress Jennifer Love Hewiitt. But hey, if she's unhappy, then she's fat, if she's not, she's pretty normal.

A fat person can be anyone who is uncomfortable with their bodily appearance (and thinks they’re over-sized, overweight, or out of shape) and thinks that the solutions to their problems are far more complicated than simple exercise and common-sense dieting. A fat person can also be someone who has lost control of body parts and is out of touch with this fact. I understand that those two definitions include a broad spectrum of individuals who are either unhappy with their bodies or can’t do a single thing with their bodies to fix their problems or even go about their days properly. The estimation is that there are a great deal of fat people out there, and based on plain sight, I’m right. With all of the people considered obese by our government, plus all of the people of average weight who hate their bodies and are buying quick-fix programs from info-mercials, plus all of the people who have given up on all of it and are letting their appearance alter their every day lives and relationships, that’s a lot of people who are either fat, or think they’re fat.

I doubt these women have low self-esteem, or want to change, which would make them REALLY unattractive, even to the men who like them.

So, if there are that many people who are not only fat but are aware of it, then who benefits? The fitness industry, that’s who. Something that fat people need to quickly understand is that even though the language in the info-mercial is warm, and the guy creating the plan has the body you want, a group of guys in suits created this product, or that diet. Even worse, they could care less about you personally. They think about you only in terms of how you will look to spend your money, how desperate you are, and how easy they will make the process. So remember that empowering yourself to change the things you hate about yourself is much better than trusting a face in the television.

The same goes for gyms. Gyms are really no more than a huge bundle of all the things we don’t need to be fit. They are great for fit people, and truly fit people can enrich their lives and progress with all of the things gyms have to offer. Fat people are paying for all of the comforts of gyms, they also can’t seem to attend gyms without these things. Also, they use all of the equipment gyms offer in ways that potentially injure them or even cause them to gain more weight and size. Gyms could change for the better, but their business would falter. The reason is that all of the negative things that effect fat people work together. They’re made to think that fitness is a small part of life, and that fit people live glamorous, unrealistic lives. Then, when they realize that their personal goals might take a lot more work than they’d understand and still won’t happen by a certain date, they become frustrated, and do negative things to their bodies to seek results. The people selling these products, creating these programs, and personally training them, all know this and operate based on it. It’s a cycle more viscious than most we’ve grown up understanding.

Next, I feel implored to tell you the real reason that fat people are unattractive. There are many people who love and respect overweight people, are their devoted spouses, or simply lust after their type particularly. Most people though, can’t really attract themselves to people who fit my personal definition of fat. People aren’t attracted to lowered self-esteem, and those attracted are considered predators and creeps. Lowered self-esteem is what drives people into the web of faslehoods that fuels the fitness industry. It’s also not what anyone who might be interested in you wants to hear. Knowing that you lack control over your own situation is most likely the least attractive thing in our society. So while a flabby belly might scare away some of the opposite sex, talking about how you’ve spent years trying to fix it will turn anyone away.

Also, losing weight is difficult. Most difficult when you think you’re right. As a matter of fact, think back to everything you’ve ever thought you knew everything about that was seriously important, it didn’t get better until someone or something opened your mind. Not only is getting fit no different, it’s probably the best example of this. My advice is to not let it be difficult. Back to your thought about knowing it all, didn’t every solution simplify the problem until it was no longer a thought? Most of the time, it was something you were desperate to organize and take control of with lists, charts, or scheduling, only to find that the solution took no time or stress at all. Taking stress out of personal problems is the only way to fix them. Otherwise, they don’t fit into your schedule or your life.

The fact that fat people stress over being fat, food, and perception is the exact reason that goals are never seen. Even the idea that the goals are set is hurting. Most fat people have no idea how their bodies should look, or how to exercise, live, and eat when they’re actually hungry. They can’t combine their search for pleasure-eating food because it tastes so good to them, only exercising when it makes them comfortable, doing things that harm them in the future just for the impression of looking better-these are all things that don’t work along with real fitness and real results. Real exercise is full of empowerment and daily enrichment. It just takes time, but not only will you look sexy to all the fat people, but everyone will think that your discipline, not just your derriere is sexy.

Is that a man’s breast or a woman’s?

Posted by scalesonfire on September 4, 2009
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A few days ago a man on the D-train tried his best to get my attention as we went over the Manhattan Bridge. He had a puzzled look on his face and he looked as is only I could answer his question.

“That picture up there, is that a man’s breast or a woman’s?”
He was referring to an Armani Exchange print ad (above) that’s pasted all over most D-trains these days. I answered his question to the best of my knowledge, figuring that those were male abdominal muscles, male arms, and men’s jeans, but the thought of the question disturbed me. It could have very well been a woman and the world, all sexed-out by ads like this one, wouldn’t have exactly noticed. That’s because we’re conditioned to seeing a blend between the male figure and the female figure in most of our media. If you didn’t know it, you’d think that someone was trying to back the male species into a corner.
And men, outside of Starbucks toting, Victoria’s Secret sweatpants and Ugg boots-wearing women, are the most comfort-seeking beings on earth. Men who don’t look like women usually shy away from brands like Armani Exchange, and toward what’s always made them comfortable. They actually feel a certain sense of pure animosity toward ads like this, citing the unrealistic nature of having that body type or wearing those clothes. The term model has a loose meaning for most. Do models model clothes or a body type? Truthfully we never really know. Here, are they modeling a lifestyle? That might be more acceptable, but does it get regular guys to go to A/X, shop, and feel like men? I doubt it.
On the surface, brands like A/X don’t really care about the common man and his uncontrollable belly fat, or his wide chest and thick arms, and they’d really like to make it seem as if women don’t necessarily find the common man attractive. They honestly make it seem the way youth television stations treat their male teen idols, and sports networks market good-looking athletes to the world: that men need a touch of blatant femininity to be sold to women. It’s the reason that boy-bands were popular when those in my generation were teens, and the reason athletes like Raphael Nadal are popular now. There’s no knock of these people on my part, those who are great at what they do are respected in my book, but the way they’re marketed to the public and especially women and girls is dead wrong. It not only alienates regular guys with regular bodies, sending them into a female sort of weight-loss mentality, or sending into an opposite “bigger is better” gym meathead mentality, but it still feeds the battered sense of overall body image that most women have developed. Our media just wants to change and break what we see every day in the mirror, because controlling how we think is much more important than asking us nicely to buy a product.
Try a clap push-up today, even doing one is great progress. First get into your normal plank position: head up, arms extended under your shoulders, back straight from the shoulders to the heels, toes planted into the floor. Lower your chest to the floor and immediately push up harder and faster than usual so that your hands leave the floor. Repeat every step and the next time you push up, push hard enough so that you can clap both hands. Try to do two or three of each, keeping a consistent motion. Control the breath to keep it normal, and as always, focus.