Add predicting the future to the rock band Queen's accomplishments. Fat-bottomed girls now officially make our world go 'round.

When people in the far future look at pictures and drawings from our time, I’d imagine that all of the women would be wearing pants and skirts that accentuate their rears.  The huge cultural shift toward butts that’s happened recently might have a lot of explanations.  First of all, there are more women with large butts, more minority women, more young women of all races eating artificial and hormone-induced food.  Second, our media is obsessed with our own ass obsession-feeding a public that is fueled on sexual acceptance.  More people liking big, round butts means more people on television with them and more products made to shrink, lift, enhance, or round an out-of-shape butt.  We’ve arrived at an era where a well-constructed butt is treated like a well-constructed pair of breasts on a woman.  Our pictures of eighteenth century fashion are of women in tight corsets that not only slimmed the waist, but did so in order to lift, squeeze and highlight the breasts, no matter how they might have actually looked bare.  In the time of butts, the same result may occur.

Silicone parts are made for toys?  Well I agree.  It’s always been difficult for me to take a woman with a fake anything seriously.  Now that I exercise the ways I do, I feel even more strongly about this.  Any person I meet who would alter their appearance permanently simply to achieve a superficial result that exercise and clean living can already improve or that shows the world their sense of constant artificiality, is not a person I can be friends with.  Most of our societal problems stem from this idea that we can put expensive band-aids on problems that basic discipline and self-esteem would fix.  Now that the focus seems to be shifting from breasts to butts, women are creating false self-esteem with butt implants the same way they have for years with breast implants.  Women with independence from these ideals, true self-esteem, and a disdain for artificiality are outcasts in our society.  The notion that women should be free to artificially alter their appearances simply to approach an idea of perfection set up by other women or to gain male attention is ruining relationships.  Why?  Even though the artificial woman looks better to other women, women these days just don’t look the same to the average guy.

Eighteenth century garb. Will twenty-first century garb highlight butt cleavage instead?

If butt implants are still funny to you, beware, they’ll be in every night club and on every young beach hottie really soon.  That’s because the more people want nice butts, the more difficult it will be for everyone to have them naturally.  The Gluteus maximus and medius on many women simply don’t round out like two basketballs the way it might for other women.  Like dating a black woman with blond hair, or an emaciated women with size DD breasts, you might feel a little weird dating a woman with a twenty-four inch waist and a booty you can sit a drink on.  Three hundred years ago, when those corsets came off, men must have felt the same way.

What women could do, especially the ones who’d like to enhance certain areas where they’re not naturally endowed, is realize that enhancement is based on the surrounding area.  The Eiffel Tower is enhanced not because it’s tall, but because it’s the tallest thing around.  So flat bellies, toned lower backs, and tight hamstrings are what makes big butts look like round butts.  Also, they might do well by not expecting the impossible.  You’d love that flabby butt to stand firm like it’s fake?  Or to look the same way naked as you do in tight jeans?  Well fat and firm are oxymoronic.  You’d have to increase the size, strength and power of both the medius and maximus to achieve firm and round, but all of that might melt so much body fat off of your butt that you’d be working with something considerably smaller.  Seeking out your minimum body weight is the proper way, then you’ll know how your particular body really looks, and you can work on enhancement from there.

Tennis star Serena Williams is proud of her big, round butt. Still, it's a product of intense training for a particular sport, combined with incredible genetics.

If you were born with more of what people try to enhance, then you should work on controlling it.  The term “fat ass” has gone from a negative to a positive one in the past generation.  Most before did not want to be one, and most now want to have one.  If you already have one though, you know that a few extra pounds can turn a woman with a “fat ass” into a fat ass woman too quickly.  What causes this mostly isn’t necessarily over eating, or poor exercise habits, it’s the tendency to over eat or be lazy because superficially, certain body parts are thought to be keeping these women sexy.  Women with large chests or round butts that aren’t the products of exercise generally think that their bodies came more perfect than others, and hence do less to maintain them.  Body parts in our society have so much value that they act as a visual pass.  I huge pair of natural breasts or a big, healthy, round butt can turn a “fat” woman into a “chubby” woman on first sight.  It’s caused a bevy of women to use body parts to attract men instead of using their actual beat-up bodies.

In my opinion, women are going to great lengths to be sexy, when they’d be much sexier if they did some free, natural things to help their appearances.  The artificial things that we’ll do in order to keep up appearances, the even more artificial things we’ll put into our bodies, and the settling we do in life has made living in reality virtually impossible for some people.  Recently I saw a line of slimming underclothes for men and thought, “great, now the men are wearing the corsets.”  This is a society where no one knows how exercise can really work for them.  Ladies, you can have the butts you want, all you have to do is take control of the area, then use it.  Really, most of the activities that Fitness Conservatives engage in, like running, yoga, swimming and cycling all involve use of those particular muscles.  Not only do hardcore Fitness Conservatives worry less about toning muscles in that area, they also use the area so much that they know exactly how their butts should look.  Athletes usually know also.  Your favorite tennis players have toned legs and firm butts because building speed, foot quickness and incredible lateral movement all shape out butts and thighs quite nicely.  My point?  Trying to build the better butt, whether to grow it, shrink it or tone it is easy, but even easier when you’re dedicated to the things you’re doing, and not dedicated to having a better looking butt.

Exercising the right ways means some slimming down, and a lot of using the areas we'd all like to work. That sort of work might give you what most call a "yoga booty" and even though you'll look active and healthy, it doesn't satisfy our "bigger is better" mentality.